Trying too hard
Someone recently told me that I am trying too hard and I needn’t. My first gut reaction would be that this person’s curbing my enthusiasm. His limitations are challenged by my continuous growth! Well in some time I got back to me. There is truth in it and I know it. There are times I speak up taking stakes in something I had no business in. And when I pose a question to someone is who not looking forward to it, I make the whole situation uncomfortable. And there are times by not being genuine at the time I need to be, I tend to overcompensate and this is fake. The fakeness irks people as most can see through it. Often there are people around you who you just want to shut up. You never express it openly but the feeling’s out there. What if am mirroring to behaviours I project as well?
Having meditated on this I am going to consider following steps:
Being in the present, and when I realise am in a dream, pinch myself and get back to present
Read the room and expend energy where it matters
Visibility is not a destination, you don’t do anything to be visible. I would keep doing great work and if it gives me visibility, money, accreditation I know that am not doing for it.
Looking back how do I see my reality, if I have taken the learning and also am proud of my path, there is no shame.
Detect my narcissism even the covert kind that comes in garb of magnanimity. Enable with generosity and move on. Don’t wait for gratitude or appreciation from other. In fact all external appreciation is a meek replacement to loving yourself.
And there is no trying. It is either doing or not doing.